Three years ago after many tests, procedures, and disappointments I never thought God would let me be a mom. But he answered our many prayers and here she is! Not only have our lives changed for the better, we have learned so much about life and have been on a continuous learning curve on how to raise a baby.
It is kind of surprising how hospitals don't send you home with a set of directions like the store does when you purchase a Baby Alive. Brent and I were also surprised that there wasn't a background check on us as you never know what that little bundle is being brought home to. In contrast, when I adopted Boomer, I was given the third degree and a home visit to make sure I was a suitable dog mom. And what about taking classes? You take classes to become a doctor, a teacher, a hair-dresser, a power plant worker, but they don't make you take classes when you become a parent and are bringing home a little, fragile, innocent baby. Kinda scary when you think about it! My sixth grade teacher let me take home the class turtle over a weekend. He didn't ever come back. Alive anyway. Maybe if someone gave me directions on how not to feed him Spam, Mertyl could have enjoyed the rest of the year with us.
I have done quite a bit of research on how to raise my daughter "the right way" from Doctors, Family, Friends, Professionals, and of course Google (read my articles in the City Magazine or upload issues at www.thecitymag.com) , but came away learning the most valuable lessons were the life experiences no one tells you about.
First: Being a stay at home mom is the toughest job you will ever love. I've worn many hats-retail, restaurant, office, professional, teacher, you name it. Today as a full time mom, I say-all those jobs were easy (and I consider myself a hard worker)....Enough said. Anyone who thinks being at home with one child, two, three, or any number of kids is for someone lazy who eats bon bons (whatever those are) needs to stay at home and see just how many bon bons will get eaten.
Lesson Two: There is no such thing as "the right way". Many people will give you advice and sometimes it will be unwanted. You need to bite your tongue (oh and it is EXTREMELY hard) and smile. If you ask for their advice, you can try it if you feel it is right for your situation, but don't feel bad if it doesn't work for you and your baby. What works for other people's children more than likely isn't going to work with your child because...they are different children with different needs. No one knows or understands your child like you do or know what is best for your child so you do what works for you and your child and that is okay.
Lesson Three:There is nothing greater than holding your baby in your arms while she sleeps and if you want to do it all the time, there is nothing wrong with that either! The work will always be there when and if your arms tire, Eighteen years from now you will be missing her as she is off to college so hold on as long as you can!
Lesson Four:Your baby will melt your heart. Lots of times. Like when she takes your face into her hands, talks in her alien baby language and says "ooooh" and then proceeds to lick or suck on your cheek (her current kissing method)or when she is in someone else's arms and wants only you. The best are all her first moments like her first steps or climbing up the stairs followed by her baby claps because she is so proud of herself. Just watch one of those Pampers or Johnson and Johnson commercials....those might be actors, but that really is how you feel when you are a mommy.
Lesson Five: Your baby knows more than you think. She not only is called monkey because she is cute and funny, but because it is now the game of Monkey See, Monkey Do with watching, listening and now doing. Luckily for now it is all good. Whether she is helping to load the washer, attempting to fold clothes out of the laundry basket, pushing her vacuum toy when you vacuum, putting on jewelry just like mom or even flushing the toilet-over, and over, and over, and over.
Finally, just as you have unconditional love for her, she has that same feeling for you. You are all she wants or cares for. Just as you chose to have her, she wants only you. Just as you need that love fix (many times during the day), so does she. So kiss, kiss, kiss those chubby little cheeks, nose, tummy and little feet away!
