Before Carly, I was the waitress who would snarl after the families with babies left once all the pancakes and crackers were embedded into the carpet floor. I also would become annoyed with cries and screams across restaurants as I tried to enjoy my dining experiences. Fast forward twenty some years later and I am now the annoying one again. Now on our weekly outings, I think back on those years and try be cautious of everyone at the restaurant-our neighbor tables, our waiter/waitress-even the bussers. We make sure never to forget our bag of tricks which is sure to include a Gerber Grabber, Cheerios, Goldfish and flavored puffs. Instead of extra diapers we have crayons, rubber duckies, play dough and books. Sometimes we are lucky when we come upon a restaurant that has color pages, crayons, and crackers on the plate just for Carly! We might even get that understanding waiter or waitress who actually has a two year old and "gets it". Even better we might get the old couple who become entertained with our child making googly faces at her and laughing at her comedic attempts. Those visits give us a sense of calmness where we don't have to worry so much and can also enjoy our meal.
Sometimes, yes our little sunshine will become a storm in a hurry, but our bag full of tricks along with much patience knowing this too shall pass has helped carry us through our meals-sometimes to the bathroom or in some cases out the door.
I wasn't sure if what we were doing was the "right thing". At the tender age of 1, its hard to have expectations for our girl, but as she gets older, here are some tips to consider on your eating outings:
- Don't Have Expectations for Little Ones. It is very unreasonable to expect a certain behavior from babies and toddlers. It is up to you the parent to be prepared and be on your game. Come with your bag of tricks to include books, quiet small toys, crayons and coloring books. Order your child's food right away and/or have their food on hand. Other restaurant goers do not think your toddler running up and down the isle is cute. If they need to be out of their seat, have their seat planted on your lap. Try to pick up best you can after your little one and give a big tip (at least 20%) if the wait staff has gone above and beyond for your family and your toddler.
- Discuss First At Home For your older children-before you head out, explain where you're going, what you'll be eating and the manners you expect: sitting up straight in a chair, napkin in the lap, using a fork and knife, inside voice, and so on. Give continual praise for positive behavior throughout the dining experience and have a reward waiting at home. This reward could be stickers for a chart which could add up to one large reward or small ones such as a sweet dessert from the freezer or Dairy Queen.
- Pick the Right Spot. You'll have a much easier time of it if you choose a restaurant that suits your child's age and maturity level. If your child is under 4 or just generally wiggly, you'll probably want to stick to family-style restaurants that offer wide booths, crayons, kids' menus, and a forgiving serving staff. Some great family restaurants in our community include Ruby Tuesdays, Ground Round, Texas Roadhouse, and Grizzlies. Space Aliens is great for older children who can play games. Older kids may be able to handle the wine glass/cloth napkin establishments, but unless your child is unusually quiet, you'll probably want to avoid these places until age 10. Otherwise, you may spend your evening worrying about what the other patrons are thinking rather than savoring the meal.
- Explain the Inside Voice. Tell your child that people don't like loud noises when they're eating, so he'll have to use his "inside voice." But don't be surprised if you have to remind him about this during the meal. Just do it calmly and move on.
- If All Else Fails, Leave. Try not to get angry if, after all your preparation, your child is disruptive. Instead, call for the check and carry-out boxes, and finish the meal at home or somewhere where your child can run around.
This morning I had the great opportunity to visit with Kevin and Monica on North Dakota NBC Today on Rug rat Etiquette. Watch raising-well-behaved-kids interview here. Do you have any tricks that work for your family? Please share!
