Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Have You Ever Met A Threenager?

Have you ever met a Threenager?  Not sure?  Maybe I can help jog your memory.

Threenagers:


  • Are around 39-inches in height
  • Weigh approximately 30 pounds (give or take a few).
  • Are usually cute as a button but have invisible red horns on their heads.
  • Have endless amounts of energy and can and will run circles around you to make you extremely dizzy as you are running after them because they refuse to sit in a time-out or because they are naked and don't want to bathe.
  • Believe they are the boss of everyone and everything.  Should you do something against THEIR rules they...
  • Will cry and scream uncontrollably if you don't let them have their way no matter where you are at.  The screams will be loud accompanied by tears, snot running down to lips (sometimes eaten), and arms and legs will flare.  Strangers will contemplate if you are a child snatcher.
  • Have on off switches. Their mind's will change within seconds to what you originally requested once they have been given their way.  Tears will immediately turn to a laugh and giggle.
  • Will tell you they don't love you anymore and to get away right after they have come to you with their arms in the air and said "hold me mommy"!
  • Willl run away from you and make you frantic and will not answer you or the ten other sympathetic moms and store clerks who are scrambling about the department store in search of them.
  • Will only go potty in the potty chair because they have just been denied a treat and know they get a treat from going to the potty.
  • Will slam and lock doors, turn on all lights, and will grab all snacks from the pantry or counter once in reach.
  • Will run around the house teasing the crippled dog with the food they have snatched from the pantry.
  • Do not know what a whisper is and will talk, cry, or scream very loud especially when in places like church, the library, a movie, or during a dinner prayer of a few hundred people.


Have you seen this person?  If so, bring them to me.  I would miss my Threenager unbelievably so horns and all.  The Threenage years will be over before I know it and then she will be 35 and ready for dating.  As hard as it may seem sometimes the Trace Adkins song: Your Gonna Miss This (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU&noredirect=1) is totally true.  I'm going to blink and this will be all over. So in the meantime, I am going to enjoy the ride she takes me on and just smile.